With the Sun in Your Eyes

I've strongly realized over the past month that I'm not over certain things. I don't have closure for them. But I really wish I did because I don't like how when I think about these events, immediately I feel angry or hurt. I want to be ok with it. But I've also realized I'm not sure how to forgive people either. What exactly needs to be done? Is there any real way or process? Or do you just have to wait for the hurt to go away? Because I don't really hold grudges or anything over little things and I've gotten over serious situations before. But for those, it was always time that did it. Not me or them.

You know...it's really sad when you look at someone who you thought would always have your back and realize you can't trust them anymore. That the person you'd call best friend, you don't even know anymore. Somehow your greatest comrades disappeared on you, sometimes when you needed them the most.

Yeah this is kind of a serious post. There's no cause for concern to my family reading or anyone else. I've just been thinking about this lately.

I heard a quote once that said, "Every person has a best friend through every stage of life. But only a few lucky individuals have the same one."

To those who have moved on, come and go, it's a real shame. But I guess life goes on and we have other purposes that need us elsewhere. Maybe we ended well and maybe we didn't. I'm sorry if we didn't and try not to judge me too harshly and I know I'll do the same for you. But I'm sure we've learned some lesson from each other whether it be good or bad.

As for the ones who have stayed. Thank you to all my friends who have stuck with me through my happy times and more often than not my sad ones. I hope I've been as good of a support to you as you have to me and I appreciate it more than words can express. Your kindness is my strength when mine own isn't enough.

And I really do feel quite blessed today. The most I've felt in a while. I know it's great to be alive. It's when I feel how I do right now that I have hope today and even greater esteem for tomorrow.

Bailey Sue
MOOD: Contemplative
SONG: Bedshaped by Keane