I say TACO, You say, TACO. TACO! TACO! TACO!

They actually served me a BEEF taco. Not a fish taco. Not an Asian taco. A genuine, real, beef taco. At least I think it was real. Who knows what they pump into that stuff actually. But the point being is actually tasted like something normal. And I've missed Mexican food. Taco Bell is the closest I've gotten to the stuff.

Just another highlight for an otherwise great day. And nothing big happened which is sometimes the best part. It was just a good, happy day. I got my homework all done, my letters came, I bought a pair of awesome shoes for just six dollars. And Latino Club tonight! Wahoo! Favorite part of every week.

I think being away from home is definitely making me appreciate the smaller things. Like hugs and kisses on the forehead. Milk. A family movie collection. Kitchen utensils. Parents who drive me everywhere. Watching the seasons change. My gross, paint splattered sweat pants that my mother hates.

But today was such a happy day. And it's not over yet. I'm ready to dance it up.

"You're name isn't Rio but I don't care for sand and lighting the fuse might result in a bang, b-b-bang, go! Well I bet that you look good on the dance floor!"

Bailey Sue
MOOD: Joyful
SONG: I Bet that You Look Good On the Dance Floor by Arctic Monkeys

You Scored as You Were Born To Love You Were Born To Love! You are very romantic and very passionate! Nothing is more important to you than the one you love. Your heart is very open, and love is life's biggest adventure as far as you're concerned. You are a guy/girl's dream partner, someone who will care for them and cherish their heart forever. you rock!

I Hate Filing Cabinets

I flipping hate being angry. Because once I'm angry about one thing, I'm suddenly angry about ten other things as well that somehow interconnect. Which just causes me to get even more frustrated with myself. Then I do and I don't want to talk the person I'm angry with. I want to fix things but I also want to make them feel really bad. I want to shout and spew but I can't. I say nasty things to my technological devices. Which conveniently have decided to stop working at this completely non-ideal time.

Boys minds are like filing cabinets. Everything is important and related but separate. Girl's minds are like a computer. Probably Windows Vista to be correct. They store everything. And if one thing is wrong with it, it affects everything else somehow.

Terrible

There's this one kind of older popular song that I hate. I like the band. But I just really hate this song. Lips of an Angel by Hinder. The guy is talking to his ex with his girlfriend in the other room and saying how he wishes she was here and blablablabla. I used to love it. And when I'd listen to it, I'd get all romantic and fanciful. And then one day, I really listened to it and I thought "Oh my gosh. What if I was that girl in the other room?" I mean imagine what she would feel like if she did overhear this conversation. And what a terrible thing to be doing behind her back, lying and keeping secrets from her. Or the ex's new boyfriend. What about him?

How freaking selfish and dishonest.

One of my neighbors was blasting it yesterday and I was basically fuming as I sat in my room.

I think loyalty is the quality I value most in people.

With the Sun in Your Eyes

I've strongly realized over the past month that I'm not over certain things. I don't have closure for them. But I really wish I did because I don't like how when I think about these events, immediately I feel angry or hurt. I want to be ok with it. But I've also realized I'm not sure how to forgive people either. What exactly needs to be done? Is there any real way or process? Or do you just have to wait for the hurt to go away? Because I don't really hold grudges or anything over little things and I've gotten over serious situations before. But for those, it was always time that did it. Not me or them.

You know...it's really sad when you look at someone who you thought would always have your back and realize you can't trust them anymore. That the person you'd call best friend, you don't even know anymore. Somehow your greatest comrades disappeared on you, sometimes when you needed them the most.

Yeah this is kind of a serious post. There's no cause for concern to my family reading or anyone else. I've just been thinking about this lately.

I heard a quote once that said, "Every person has a best friend through every stage of life. But only a few lucky individuals have the same one."

To those who have moved on, come and go, it's a real shame. But I guess life goes on and we have other purposes that need us elsewhere. Maybe we ended well and maybe we didn't. I'm sorry if we didn't and try not to judge me too harshly and I know I'll do the same for you. But I'm sure we've learned some lesson from each other whether it be good or bad.

As for the ones who have stayed. Thank you to all my friends who have stuck with me through my happy times and more often than not my sad ones. I hope I've been as good of a support to you as you have to me and I appreciate it more than words can express. Your kindness is my strength when mine own isn't enough.

And I really do feel quite blessed today. The most I've felt in a while. I know it's great to be alive. It's when I feel how I do right now that I have hope today and even greater esteem for tomorrow.

Bailey Sue
MOOD: Contemplative
SONG: Bedshaped by Keane

Friendship

STEP ONE-Typical beginning of school Conversation

Possibly begins with something funny or witty but thereafter begins as follows.
RandomStranger: Hi I'm (insert name). What's your name?
Me: Oh hi. I'm Bailey. Where are you from?
RandomStranger: Oh I'm from (insert place-typically california, utah, etc). And you?
Me: Well I'm from Utah I guess.
RandomStranger: Oh really? Which part?
Me: Kind of by Provo. Most people don't know where it is.
RandomStranger: Oh Orem?
Me: No. Saratoga Springs.
RandomStranger: Yeah never heard of it.
Me: That's ok.
RandomStranger: So what's your major?
Me: Theatre.
RandomStranger: I didn't know we had a theatre major.
Me: We don't. I'll transfer later on.
RandomStranger: Well what do you want to do with that?
Me: Uh. Act?!
RandomStranger: So like plays and stuff?
Me: Yep. What about you?

And it keeps going for a good five minutes.
This establishes the relationship.

STEP TWO-Facebook Add

One of the parties goes and finds the other on Facebook. Don't worry. Using stalker-like methods are totally normal and sometimes necessary. Besides, everyone on Facebook is a stalker anyway.

Once the friend requests have been accepted, one party should write on the others wall to create conversation and keep a positive connection. Congratulations. You are now officially friends.

STEP THREE-The Hang Out
Not exactly necessary since you can have relationships exclusively online and can come before step three. But bonding in person is typically more meaningful and lasting. And usually a whole heck of a lot more fun!

waka waka

I share my bathroom stall with a spider. We've come to an agreement that if I don't squash him and let him go about his business then he'll stay in his corner and let me do mine.

I am terrified of spiders. It freaks me out that something that small can potentially kill you. Plus they're ugly and creepy and just plain scary looking. And the other day I saw the hugest spider I've ever seen in my life! I was running around for work, trying to find a room in the Stake Center. I turned a corner and there. Big, brown, and furry. They're called cane spiders and as it happens, the one I saw was relatively small in comparison to some, and that freaks me out too. Supposedly they're completely harmless. To humans anyway. I'd beg to differ if I were a gecko.

Speaking of work, first pay day today! Not too bad of a check considering I can only work 19 hours a week max at minimum wage. Makes me happy anyway! :D

Maybe I've climated to Hawaii a little too well. The temperature dropped today. It's probably 70-75. And I am freezing!!! I've turned the fan off and I'm in sweats and a big hoodie and still cold. Its stopped raining now but I still feel like going out in jeans and my rain coat. I'm like a lizard. I have to be kept warm.

*sticks tongue out*

-Bailey Sue
MOOD: Uncomfortable
SONG: Waka Waka by Shakira

SLUGS

Yeah more on slugs. Don't worry-nothing on slug sexuality or anything like that.

...Sometimes I think I have no filter when I say stuff like that and the post before. Sorry for those offended. Well not sorry I said it. Sorry you're offended.

But sometimes I feel like a slug. Small. Gross. Misunderstood. Slow and behind as the rest of the world speeds past. You go to the wrong places on someone will step on you. Eat too much salt and bad things happen.

I'm so tired. Have you ever been so tired you feel like you're on the verge of bursting out into tears? I truly do not like early mornings. I'm like a momma bear coming out of hibernation. Grumpy. Moody. Don't talk to me or I might bite your head off kind of thing. And starving!!! Holy cow am I hungry.

Yeah I'd much rather be lazy and wake up whenever my body wants to with the sun streaming in, all warm and cozy like. Well the weather can do whatever it wants really just as long as I can sleep in and be warm. Mmhmm. Wake up nice and slow. Sounds divine. As opposed to trudging out of bed and forcing myself to get ready for class and start functioning before due time.

I wonder how slugs sleep...

-Bailey Sue
MOOD: Lethargic
SONG: Banana Pancakes by Jack Johnson

the infamous bailo booty

Yes. My nickname is Bailo after J-Lo. And not really for the singing or beautiful looks. My bum is famous. Actually back home, people practically sing praises to it.

Funny or awkward moment with my mom. Probably both. But it made me smile.

MY FACEBOOK STATUS: "You all think I had an unnaturally firm butt before? Then I can't wait to see what Tahitian Dance is going to do to it! First class tonight baby!"

MOM: Hard ass haha. They don't call you Bailo for nothing. Now we can call you Tah-lo. Oh my gosh. I miss your cute behind. And to think it once fit into the size of my hand they day you were born. Shake those farrets!"

ME: Ferrets mom. But be proud. Shakin what my momma gave me.

MOM:...I want to see the proof that my kid is getting a higher education, a life experience, and a fab new tahitian butt.




No I will not post a picture. I know you're all truly deprived but that would be inappropriate.

Higher Now In The Sky

I'm having an ADD moment and I really want to post something but my brain is going all quirky trying to decide what to rant about right now. I could go on about the divinity of caffeine (I'm sitting next to a can of vanilla coke.) Or how much I love getting mail! I'm on Cloud Nine right now. Not only receiving much appreciated emails and facebook stuff, but real, US postal service mail! I grudgingly opened my box late yesterday just to see and lo and behold, the notice I've been waiting for was sitting inside. So this morning, I went as early as I could before class to retrieve it and then anxiously waited for class to be over. As soon as it was, I dashed back to my dorm as quick and giddy as could be to start opening all my letters from my truly beloved back home. Though his are definitely my favorite and not all things sent to me get that kind of reaction, I just love getting and opening envelopes and packages. Even if it's a stupid notice from the housing office that already got sent to me twice via internet. There's just something wonderful about having it tangible and personal in your hands.

Terribly romantic too. Here's a tip. Men write your lady letters and if she loves you, she will appreciate and treasure them as though they were priceless. Scores you big points.

And I'm supposed to be getting more packages later this week! Yay!

Now I can boast about my tan. Yeah. Not really. I'm much tanner than I am normally but in comparison to the polys here, I might as well be the stark white I am at home. Good thing I was never all that big on being brown anyway.

I'm so happy right now! I'm just abnormally elated! This is so strange for me but I love it. I feel hopeful and excited for life. Well not excited for this class I'm sitting in right now (Astronomy-I'm so no a left brained person), but for most of the other parts. Life finally feels good.

Latino Club tonight! Yes. Everyone go to the GCB! I'm excited to dance. I started learning tahitian dance yesterday and that was so fun. A great workout and I think I picked it up fairly fast from all my latin training. Kind of hard to tell since there were no mirrors but I didn't get any corrections either. That's good right? I'm excited to learn more. I still really miss my dance room at home. There's one on campus that I should go seek out but I don't like to share. I know. I'm a selfish brat.

Oh gall. That's a colorful bowling ball. My teacher is holding one up in the air to demonstrate the phases of the moon. I hope he doesn't drop that or someone is going to die.

I need to air guitar. But my laptop speakers don't go up very high. And let's face it. You NEED loud music to fully rock out. So somebody do me a favor. Blast Sink or Swim by Tyrone Wells and jump on the bed for me. I love that song and it's great for that kind of thing. Or running around pretending you're an airplane. You pick.

Speaking of beds though, my mattress is the squeakiest thing in the world. These hale beds are no good. It's really sad when you can hear someone's bed creak down the hall. This guy I know from work whose roommate is a maintenance worker in my hale gave me a genius idea to put "creaky mattress" on a work order for him. Apparently, he's gotten some good ones.

Hmm...I think I've done a pretty good job of tripping this place out thus far. It's a creative process in and of itself.

Ok ok. I'll actually start taking notes now. My mom will kill me when she sees this.

"Apply yourself Bailey!"

-Bailey

MOOD: Cloud 9 :D
SONG: Elevation by U2

The Truth

The truth is I am terrible at blogging. I'm inconsistent, lazy, indifferent, tangent-prone, cynical, hyper and emotional. And neurotic and moody and paranoid and OCD and a whole lot of other wonderful human characteristics that create thoughts that will probably get put on here. Sounds like a strange, bad, socially awkward combination to me lol. Or maybe just a heightened average person. Maybe we're all socially awkward freaks but ANYWAY I've decided I want to try this out again.

Those first two posts are a lie. They were taken from the mass emails I sent out to family and friends narrating my new found adventures here in Laie. So they don't quite count as blogging. Mass media? Maybe. After all, I'm queen of the world ;) Heed my words. No don't. Well DO. But don't.

I had an old blog from last year that I was real good at for a while. You can still go read it if anyone cares for the link but you'll soon find that after a month it slowly dwindled into hitless death, waste of space internet. I got a little obsessive for a while but then it just turned into a vent zone. Meh.

But I do write a lot. A lot a lot. I write a letter to my wonderful boy at home every day. I try to journal at least three times a week. And I'm currently working, working on one novel now, developing more for later, dabbling in playwrighting, spontaneously scribbling out lyrics and jotting down some short stories that I gave orally that I'll probably end up posting on here. Though for the record, short stories aren't really my style. Cuz guess what? I'm detailed oriented too :) But I love it and it's something I am trying to focus on this semester and further develop myself as an author of sorts. Blogging, of course, can be very helpful for all of the above.

As for the name of this new creative space just waiting for me to fill it up, Slug Production is what I decided I'd name a punk/rocker indie band if I ever had one. Of course, I can't really sing any of those styles or as of the moment play any of the instruments required for that ensemble so I guess that's fairly inapplicable. Actually, it was Slug Reproduction but I figured that was offensive and inappropriate and nobody would appreciate that popping up every time they decided to open this up, if ever they decide to open it up, so you only have to endure it for one brief introductory post. Though if you don't know how slugs reproduce, then go look it up on wikipedia because it is fairly interesting. And great white sharks. Go look them up too. Fascinating.

If you didn't catch it from the header, I like caffeine. A lot. Vanilla Coke be good and I bought some yesterday so this oughta be fun.

But I should definitely go to sleep now since I spent a whole lot of time being a perfectionist over the blog layout and now it's one in the morning. Cheerio mates.

Bailey Sue

MOOD: Psyched

SONG: Grace Kelly by Mika

Sept 18th-Mo'o :(

Good news! My meal plan started a week ago so I can eat and not have to live off of Cup of Noodles anymore! YAY!!! Still even eating the cafeteria, I have not eaten so much rice and noodles in my life. Almost every meal guaranteed even for breakfast on most days.

My roommate came in last week and we are getting along great. I like her very much. She is Hawaiian and very pretty and her name is Ka'ili. We've both been pretty helpful to one another though sometimes we have a slight problem when it comes to doing things because we're so laidback that we don't care. It can also get a little confusing because both our names end in the "lee" sound so in big groups we both respond.

It's saturday. Basically everything except Foodland is closed on Saturday.

I've been to three beaches so far, all the ones close to campus. They're all very beautiful though it gets a little cold at night. Last night I went to a bonfire with Ka'ili and a few other friends, Shannel and Cheney, who are both pretty cool. I was so tired as it was after midnight. I feel asleep in the sand and woke up to people running away. I guess someone had called the firetruck and it's illegal to build bonfires on the beach unless you're cooking food but everyone does it anyway. I'll bring hot dogs next time. Shrug.

I do have a job now! I'm actually at work now-but since it's saturday nothing is really going on. I am a Media Technician at Media Services in the Library. During the week, I go into different classrooms and both set-up and pick-up different equipment for teachers, check media out to students (usually headphones and dvds), take inventory, answer calls and fill out orders, etc. Dawnell, my boss, had me do some scheduling the other day as well. I like her but she is pretty intimidating. It's nerdy but I love to check things in and out. It's my favorite part of my job. Lucky for me it's all I have to do today! That's why I wanted to work in Circulation so bad. But maybe in a semester or two if there are openings.

Yep. I just checked out a pair of head phones. Go me :)

I started classes on Wednesday and am mostly enjoying myself. Right off the bat I dropped college algerbra haha. But I like my other ones I guess. I nearly feel asleep in Biology because it's a pretty early class but the teacher is making it fairly understandable. I can't tell if I'm going to love or hate astronomy. I've learned some pretty interesting things but the teacher is...interesting. He'll talk in a normal voice and then suddenly throw it up a few octaves every couple sentences. And he enjoys the phrase "Gory Detail." I counted during class yesterday. He used it six times. Two of those times in the same sentence.

I'm also enjoying my two theatre classes thus far. I'm taking Acting 1 and Intro to Theatre, which is more on the history and different types. I really like the teacher here, Craig Ferre. Our fall play is Noises Off, which I auditioned for on Thursday and have a callback on Monday. I don't know how good my chances of making it in are but if not it's ok. Contemporary/Comedy/Straight play is SOOO not my style. I'm really looking forward to winter term when there is the Shakespeare Play and the Musical. They haven't announced the musical yet but it's Winter's Tale for Shakespeare. That one is actually not going to be directed by the theatre teacher but I did meet the director who felt inclined to introduce himself to me at my Noises Off audition. Anyway, I'm excited for my callback. I have no idea what we'll be doing so wish me luck!

Also went to Latino Club on Wednesday by invitation of the "Choir King" here at BYUH. It was a lot of fun and made me miss ballroom so much. Especially competing. I think I will look for a partner once I've figured out my work schedule and play rehearsal if I get in because I'm not sure how those are working out right now. So if I have time I'm going to do it. I'm itching to choreography. I miss my dance room. Worldfest was this past couple of days and that's where you can join all the clubs. I joined Latino, obviously, Samoan, Tongan, and Tahitian because I'd love to learn to Tahitian Dance as well.

I also learned how to play pool yesterday. My new polynesian friend, Nafe, taught me and somehow I won but that's just because he striked a lot. I actually really liked it and did make some pretty good shots. Hopefully I get some skills. Nafe is pretty awesome too. He was actually in my astronomy class and dropped that and took acting instead to get a break from all his science and math classes. He is actaully from Utah but he is Tongan and has a poly accent.

I might come home speakin like a Poly. All my friends so far are either Latino or Poly. They've adopted me so to speak haha. Here it's called pigeon.

Last but not least, I caught a gecko, his name is Mo'o and he was my pet for a day. He died last night. We think he was sick or old because he didn't run away when I caught him and when I brought him back to my room, he just let the bugs sit on him instead of hunting or anything. I'm pretty sad about that. Like genuinely upset. He was pretty much my pride and joy for the whole 12 hours we knew each other. Ka'ili told me not to worry and that I took good care of him in his final hours. Levi, you may be right about me just loving things literally to death. May Mo'o rest in peace.

He's also basically the only thing I have pictures of because I haven't been very diligent with my camera lately. So no pictures this time :(

And that's basically it. I miss everyone. When are you going to come visit eh? I hope you are all doing well and I will write again soon! Mahalo!

-Bailey Sue

Hawaii-September 3rd

Well it's my first week away from home and I must say I really miss our utensil-filled, fully accessible whenever I want to eat kitchen at home. Food here is uber-expensive and there's a lack of variety in Laie's small Foodland. You know you're poor and starving when even a dollar item off the McDonald's menu seems like a treat. But even that's affected here. The dollar menu is much smaller and the general overall menu has been jacked up a few cents. That was my dinner yesterday because the kitchen in my Hale (my dorm-literally means house) is closed for a week due to messes being left in there. However, because I'm not on a meal plan yet, due to my early arrival, I've gotten special permission to use it still. Hopefully, I've boughten enough food to last me until my meal plan starts on the tenth.

The Ethnic aisle is Foodland should be renamed the Asian aisle. There's one teeny tiny little section for Mexicans where you can get salsa and taco seasoning. Everything else on both sides of the aisle is Asian, Asian, Asian!!!

There is the coolest plant here on campus that you can find in the grass. It's called shy plant and when you touch it, it closes up! It's the most amusing thing in the whole world. I'll attach a video :)

The job hunt still continue but I've had two job interviews so far. For waitressing at the PCC and lighting technician in the CAC, which is the huge gym where basketball games are held and such. I'm not terribly interested in either. Not because they aren't good jobs but because these ones are only 10-12 hours a week at min. wage. However, I have another job interview today at Media Services in the Library and I also applied for a few other jobs. I've decided I'd really enjoy working at the library and the job I want is actually, Circulation Assistant. However, if I get hired for this one, I will definitely accept it.

My Aunt Laura and Uncle Vernon, who have been vacationing here in Hawaii, were kind enough to invite me to go through the PCC (Polynesian Cultural Center) with them on Monday. And let me tell you, it was pretty incredible. You learn so much about the different cultures. And I saw the tree climbing thing which was awesome. Let me just say, Tongans are crazy hyper people. And the night show was incredible. They had one of the coolest sets I have ever seen in my life. The dancing was amazing and the fire dancers blew my mind. I have posted a video I took of them on Facebook. I can actually here the music from the PCC in my room. If anyone comes to Hawaii, I'd definitely recommend a day spent there.

Aloha actually has three meanings. Hello. Goodbye. And I love you. So if I'm sending this to you...Aloha!

On Wednesday, after my job interview, I went on a hunt for the beach and I found it. The beach here is seriously amazing. The water is so clear and blue and warm!!! It's incredible looking. And where I went, it was also practically deserted which was so nice. I don't know about you but I love going to the beach and being the only one there. Some polynesian boys came by later but they walked further down and left me to my own devices. I also filmed my first minute on the beach and going into the water for the first time. And its become a hit on Facebook if anyone wants to see it lol.

Yesterday, I went kayaking with this girl in my ward named Tori. She's very nice and also a freshmen in the upcoming semester. Her whole family actually moved to Hawaii a few weeks ago and for the time being, she lives off campus with them about twenty minutes away. She took me to a beach near her house and we went along the coastline before coming into the mouth of the Kahana River, which is very calm. Good thing because we are both kind of kayaking dummies, me more so and frequently crashed into branches. Tori nicknamed it the jungle cruise because minus the cheesy animals, it looks just like that ride at Disneyland. Anyway, the river runs into this valley where a lot of the filming for the TV show Lost was done. If anyone remembers, they go through a field of really tall grass a few times in the show. Anyway, that's exactly where I was. I don't know how the actors managed to run through that stuff. I was having a difficult time just trodging through it, the grass is so thick. We then returned to the beach and where the salt water and river meet there is this cool rope swing that I tried out. You have to climb a tree and the water for some reason is really deep right there even though the bay is extremely shallow. And to all those who know of my hesitant jumping experiences in the past, I'll have you know I climbed that tree and jumped in for the first time in about twenty seconds.

Boredom I think has made me braver this summer.

Probably stupider too.

And other than that, not much to say. People won't be arriving till next week and in the mean time, everyone is taking their finals and getting ready to go visit back home for a little bit so life around the campus is pretty boring for me. I feel like I look really young in comparison to everyone here even though a lot of them are only a year older maybe. I can't get my own box in the mailroom till the end of next week.

Mahalo (thank you) to everyone reading this! I miss everyone at home, especially my family and Levi and his family of course. Hopefully this will pass quicker than expected so I can come back and visit. Good luck to everyone starting school, looking for jobs and just going through life. Go Rhett, who I won't be seeing before he leaves but I'm excited for you, friend. Thank you to my family and everyone else supporting me as I go out on this adventure and good luck on your own. Things are rough right now but I have confidence that everything will be alright. I love you all and take care.

Bailey Sue